real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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