This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
