i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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