Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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