He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
