So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
