i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
