OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
