She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Randomize
