Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
