I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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