Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
