Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
