She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
