do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
