I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
