Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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