i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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