Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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