Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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