Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
