So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
