just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
