You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
