Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
