if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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