Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
