I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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