i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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