Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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