He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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