What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You pole danced in your parka.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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