its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
