i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
