just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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