she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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