hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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