think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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