There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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