just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize