Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
