Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
