Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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