When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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