At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
