You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
