lets start a swedish sibling band together
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
