In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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