3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
