so that wasnt chicken after all
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
