she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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