The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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