I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
