I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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