I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
