sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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