We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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