i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
two words...techno handjob
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
