They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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