I want to stick my p in your. b.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
