please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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