His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
