he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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