You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize