...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
