GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
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i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
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Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.