You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.