I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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