Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...